I’m finally getting over being incredibly sick since three days ago. I suppose that’s offensive to anyone with a real sickness or disease…But I felt truly debilitated. I’m always like that when I’m ill or hungover…useless. I regress into a child-like state and need to be taken care of because it hurts to stand up, read, talk, and think.
I know having a bad cold isn’t a traumatic event for most people, but it makes me violently insecure because I’m unable to do any of the productive things which give my life meaning: BJJ, exercise, read, podcast, write, have conversations with friends…Life consists of highs and lows, and these moments always bring me back down.
BUT! This morning is the first morning since it began where I don’t want to blow my brains out (figuratively). After going through a low, I find it helps to identify it as a low, remind yourself that you won’t feel this way forever, and get back on the horse. It’ll be a rough and sluggish start, but you’ll start moving forward in some way, shape, or form. You just have to do it on purpose. Live your life on purpose.