Is it okay to promote positivity when so many people are suffering?
This is a question I’ve had to ask myself countless times in the last few years. Posting blogs, videos and blurbs on having a positive mindset, building strong habits, living a fulfilling life…
I’m aware that there are certainly times where someone with clinical depression, say, has logged on to FaceBook to see me preaching on about how getting your shit together isn’t as hard as you think.
This past weekend, I posted about how the pandemic has given me the opportunity to solidify my reading habit. One of the people who saw the post just lost their father to Covid. My heart sunk when I found out.
That’s when I realized that this question doesn’t have a binary answer. It has two answers that exist at the same time.
1) Just because others are going through a hard time, should not mean that we obsess over trying not to hurt a single person’s feelings.
There are simply too many people with too many problems to constantly worry about offending someone. Especially on social media.
If you post a video of children playing in an orchestra, and a million people see it, at least 1000 people will leave a nasty comment. Three Little Birds by Bob Marley has 48,000 thumbs downs on YouTube.
If you post a picture of yourself skiing, it’s entirely possible that someone who just lost their brother on a skiing trip sees that photo. Does that make you an untactful asshole?
To be clear, I’m NOT saying you should do whatever the fuck you want. Like I said, I firmly believe this and my stomach still turned when I found out about my friend’s dad. But there’s a difference between being mindful and walking on eggshells. Hell, I’ve written a blog every day for over 400 days. It’s guaranteed that I’ve written things I regret.
Be mindful, but live your life. If you show enough people what you’re up to, someone is bound to be unhappy with it.
2) People who are going through a hard time are allowed to feel what they fell.
In my writing, in my coaching, in my attitude…I’m all about focusing on what can be controlled and how we can use that to move forward.
But I’m not a fucking psychopath.
When I learn that someone has lost a relative or is agonizing over something, I don’t respond with, “Well, what are you going to do about it? Where’s the opportunity here?”
If I say these things, it’s only after I have given them a hug, told them I love them, and ask them if there’s anything I can do for them. Just because I believe we can do great things in the midst of our suffering doesn’t mean I think suffering is fun.
This may sound like the other end of the spectrum from the first statement, but this isn’t a binary problem. And that’s the point. Again,
Both of these are true at the same time.
The person who posted about their ski trip isn’t an asshole AND the person who just lost their brother on a ski trip isn’t overly sensitive.
This may seem like a half-assed conclusion, but there doesn’t seem to be a clear answer to the original question.
Is it okay to promote positivity when so many people are suffering?
To some, absolutely. To others, absolutely not.
Just take it as it comes and make adjustments if needed.